Reasonable Tales… Vol. 1

I think it’s time to return to some flash fiction and micro-stories. My other ramblings haven’t been garnering the kind of enthusiasm that I’d like to experience right now….
Plus I’m really impressed and inspired by “300 Stories” right now.

Lately I’ve been watching an old Sc-Fi TV show called “the 4400.” It’s a really good little series that popped up in my Amazon reccommendations years ago, and since it’s now available on Netflix Instant Watch, I decided start watching it. I’ve been enjoying it so far, but I’m very frustrated by how all the characters in it seem to do the dumbest thing possible in every situation. I realize that without such stupidity and stubbornness, many stories wouldn’t be as interesting or as long, but I decided to try writing some little stories where the people do the exact right thing that I’m always shouting at them to do.

I call this series:

“Reasonable Tales.”

See, I told you…

              The hole in the universe nearly swallowed us all. The strange visitors had assured us that everything would be fine if we’d only just trust them and their cryptic reasoning. Luckily all in attendance had seen enough movies where things like that happen that we actually listened.

               Just as they promised, the hole closed up after about 20 minutes. It was tense for a while, but everyone was able to get back to their normal existence relatively quickly, our lives having only been slightly inconvenienced by the incident, but ultimately enriched forever…

A Perfectly Logical Explanation

               “If you’d just let me explain!!” He shouted, out of exasperation… She’d always been a very rational person so she quieted down long enough for him to point out that when she entered the room and found her slutty cousin in his lap, he was in fact pushing her away from him as evidenced by the memory that the whole reason why she entered the room in the first place was cause she could have sworn she heard a deep male voice saying “Would you please get off of me! I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this, I’m in love with your cousin Theresa, whom I am to marry in 25 minutes and who is just in the other room where you are supposed to be helping her get into her gown…”

               Theresa decided that this was a valid argument because her cousin was a known slut and James had proven himself to be a worthy companion and upstanding gentleman over their 4 year courtship and this certainly was not worth throwing away an otherwise beautiful relationship over. Besides, she should have listened to him the first 4 times when he recommended that they not invite her cousin on account of the fact that she was always throwing herself at him.


               He had watched her grow up over the past 17 years and had always had a fondness for her, just as she had a childlike fondness for him. It was all very innocent and cute at first, because she had of course always been a child. Her behavior towards him at the last barbecue had seemed a little too flirty though, considering the way she had blossomed over night.

               She knocked on his door asking if he could apply her sunscreen for her. This is something that he could easily do, for he did care for her and didn’t want her to get skin cancer… It seemed like a reasonable request, but then he remembered how she’d been complaining about all the boys her age and decided instead to say “why don’t you ask your friends over there to do that for you, surely amongst the 25 some odd other teenage guests you have over there for your 18th birthday party, at least one of them is qualified to help you with that.”

Cyber Bully

               It’d been a long time since he’d had any action, and she certainly talked as if she were over 18, but Thomas decided to ere on the side of caution, by asking “how old are you anyways?” Her reply: “16…” At that, he immediately closed the chat window and blocked her from contacting him again. Regardless of whether she was an experienced 16 year old or a 46 year old undercover cop, he couldn’t afford the ramifications of such an encounter in either case…. And besides, with the polls closing in 10 minutes, he should really start working on his acceptance speech.

Using your head

               He had sensed some chemistry the moment he met her. She was beautiful and funny, even tempered and intelligent. He wanted her instantly, but she was dating his best friend at the time, so he didn’t make a move. Two years later they had grown closer, as tends to happen with Best Friends and Girlfriends of people. His heart now ached for both of them as he watched their relationship fail, but over the past 2 years he had also realized that a relationship with Tara would ultimately just amount to 3 months of sex and the destruction of his friendship with Walt. For this reason alone, he opted to give her a book on coping with heartbreak, rather than taking her to his special place by the lake where one thing would probably lead to another….
Discretion is the better part of valor.